There’s a common phrase (or overused cliché, depending on how you want to frame it), “to go with the flow”. This has never been something I’ve wanted to do or have been good at doing. Sometimes this has been a good thing! I’ve always “marched to the beat of my own drum” (another cliché) and was a rebellious teenager who liked to cause a stir. In the yoga realm too, I like to think I’m not the stereotypical Western yoga teacher, overly focused on asana and what the body looks like (hopefully).
However, “go with the flow” can also be about letting go of control when we don’t have any anyways. It doesn’t have to mean passively accepting, but recognizing when we can take action and when we have to let go and flow with whatever might come up. I think the Serenity Prayer is a perfect example of this: “God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This also brings to mind the concepts of abhyasa and vairagya (persevering practice and non-atttachment) from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Check out the blog post I wrote about these concepts here.
Interestingly, there is also a type of yoga called “flow yoga” (aka vinyasa), which I used to really love, for it gave me that ability to drop in and find a “flow state”, but I’ve moved away from it due to injury and awareness of what is best for my body. I’ve learned to find it in other things though, like being near water or incorporating the flow of water into various parts of my daily sadhana (spiritual practice).
This practice of flowing to let go of control is still a difficult one for me, but one that has been so important to continue to cultivate as I navigate recent challenges. August was a hard month for me, and you have may have noticed some absences (from social media, from a newsletter, from some of my classes). I’m usually a pretty private person, but am trying to be brave and vulnerable because I know when others have shared this, it has really helped me.
CW: Fertility struggles
My partner and I have been trying to conceive for the last couple of years and have tried many different methods. It’s been quite a roller coaster with unexpected delays, hiccups, losses, and illnesses along the way. This journey is requiring a delicate dance of when to go with the flow and when to push back and advocate- it requires both! I respectfully request that you don’t ask for updates on the process. I’ll share more when I’m ready. So many emotions have come up such as frustration, grief, joy, hope, and interconnection with others. I am trying to be gentle with myself and my body, and remind myself there is so much out of my control in this fertility journey. What I can control is how much I rest, how much I nurture myself, when to advocate for myself, when to ask for help, when I say no in some areas, in order to create more space to flow in others.
So it feels a little scary to put it all this out there into the internet ether, but maybe it can be a little reminder to those on fertility journeys that you are not alone, or to those who want to control a difficult situation, that you can find ways to loosen your grip and begin to flow. Whatever is going on with you, I hope this is helpful.